Lessons learned from Nick


Nick really doesn’t like it when people are mad at each other.  If Arden and I are ‘discussing’ anything when he is around, he will first clear his throat.  Loudly clear his throat, I mean.  If that doesn’t get a response, he will ask, “Mom, you frustrated with Arden?”  That usually gets a response from me, not always a positive one.  It depends on how emotionally charged I am.  But I do get the message and it does help deescalate the situation.

If I am mad at him, he will repeatedly ask, “You done being frustrated with me?”  Eventually I have to admit that I am done being mad.  Then he is happy again.

Nick rarely fights and when he does, we are all shocked.  This picture is of one of the times he was fighting with me.  We were in Ireland and he didn’t want to do what I wanted him to.  It is cute to look at now, but I didn’t think it was cute at the time.  Nick spent the rest of the day, apologizing to me.  He truly was sorry that we had fought.

This weekend I realized that his aversion to fighting extends into his opinion of movies too.  We had watched a Hallmark movie one evening, you know the ones, a little tension between the two main characters and then ‘happily ever after’ at the end.  The next morning, I had my mom hat on and was trying to work on his communication skills as well as recall and comprehension.

I asked him about the movie, and he did remember some details.  That was wonderful. Then I asked if it was a happy or a sad movie.  I was trying to help him recognize emotions in others.  He said it was a sad movie.  So I asked why it was sad.  “Because they fighting.” was the response.  He was right, the two main characters had been fighting a lot before the final resolution.  I explained that it was a happy movie because at the end everyone was all better, so could he see that it was a happy movie overall.  He shook his head and I asked, why was it not happy.  He firmly said again, “because they fighting.”

I was trying to teach him. He actually taught me, again.

He was right, it is sad when people fight.  I could see his point.  Our lives would truly be happier if we could find other ways to resolve differences than fighting.  I try to follow Nick’s example and not fight.  When I fall short, I apologize quickly like he does.

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One thought on “Fighting

  1. When my husband and I are ‘discussing’ my children will often make a comment like ‘don’t fight’, or ‘be nice’ and even my dog will get riled if the tension is high. There are universal markers to those who are sensitive enough to look for them will easily see. Nick is thirty something and still so in tune. Priceless.


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