Nick doesn’t feel obligated to do things just because it is expected. He carves out his own path in most social settings.
Our oldest son Ryan was getting married to Tiffany in May of 2001. Karen and I organized a bridal shower for her in early April. Her mom and sisters were coming up from Portland for the event. We were all busy with tax season, in addition to the preparation for the shower. It was kind of hectic. Tiffany was going to be my first daughter-in-law. I wanted everything to be perfect.
The morning of the shower as we were talking about all the final arrangements, Nick looked at me with a questioning look and asked, “We see Tiffany naked?” I was horrified and said, “Of course not!” Then he said, “She have a shower alone?” I then realized that he didn’t understand what a bridal shower was, he thought we were going to watch her shower. No wonder he was so confused.
We explained that it was a party for the girls and that he was going out to dinner with dad and the other guys. He said ok.
I was stressed about the food being right. I was stressed about the decorations being beautiful. I was stressed about cleaning the house. Ok, I was stressed about everything. I really wasn’t focusing very much on Nick.
Just before the bridal shower was scheduled to start, all the men got ready to go out for the evening. Nick didn’t want to go with them. He wanted to stay home, but Arden took him anyway.
When they all got back home after the party was over, Nick saw the presents and the used wrapping paper, all the food and the cake that was left, as well as the decorations all around the living room, he said, “Next time I be at the shower, I not go with Dad.” He felt that he had missed the better event that evening.
And that has been his opinion ever since. Whenever we have had a bridal or baby shower, Nick gets to stay and be at the party with all the girls, while the other guys have to leave. Why would he want to just go out to dinner, when he can be at a party?
It doesn’t matter to him at all that there are no other men at the shower. He knows where he wants to be.
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